Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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