I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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