You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
