"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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