Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize