Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?