you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness