life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
