You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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