whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
