You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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