He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
