I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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