its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
