she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
