Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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