i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
