No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
