She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
