Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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