A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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