im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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