I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
