Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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