you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
