Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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