Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
