So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
