If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
