My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
