theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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