MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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