im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
