Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
