Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
