never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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