if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
