how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
