farters have to be the big spoon...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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