I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
