the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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