i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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