yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
