Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
