you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
