Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize