okay pat passed out under dana's car
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
