I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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