Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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