I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
