At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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