Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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