it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
