weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
