Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
