I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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