I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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