just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
