Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
