Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
