You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You made me cry and you don't even care
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
