At least make sure they are 18
Why
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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