Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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