he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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