The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
