im about as happy as oj after his trial
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
