we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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