1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
