So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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