Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
